When the Rooster Meets the Duct Tape and the Coffee Mug Why I let him flap, squawk, and peck my toes every single time. Every Tuesday, a rooster named George tries to kill my career. He’s not real, not technically. George is the algorithm — loud, territorial, and convinced the barnyard belongs to him. Every time I post…
How I Solved Trespassing with Photosynthesis It started with tuna. Not metaphorical tuna, not some deep literary symbol about scarcity or generosity — no, an actual can of chicken-of-the-sea I cracked open because hubby works as an ambassador for the United Backyard of Wildlife, where the semi-feral cats run a black-ops-style surveillance project. Apparently, their organization is also…
What happens when a Louis Vuitton meets a baggage carousel THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO THE NEVERFULL — A travel note on Gate C14 I didn’t kick a puppy; I just set my Louis Vuitton tote on the floor. The way the women looked at me, you’d think I’d drawn a pentagram on the carpet with a lipstick from…
How prehistoric common sense outperformed modern technology. Patch 1111th ver. 2000.1.0002 all copyrights completely corrupted, backup totally unnecessary. The first human operating system didn’t run on electricity. It ran on hunger, instinct, and a healthy fear of lightning and anything in between that wants to eat him too. Picture him: a broad-shouldered proto-technologist trudging home…
