Patch Hub

Patch is a caveman who is as old as the oldest legacy system in the world. Patch is what happens when you drop a prehistoric man into the modern world and expect him to care. He doesn’t. Signal disappears, systems fail, chaos erupts — and Patch just stands there, deadpan, holding the club like it’s a customer service ticket. Nature freaks out. Patch shrugs.

It makes his life extraordinary boring… which is exactly why the universe keeps handing him disasters like it’s a hobby.



Click a panel. If you wandered in here by accident: Front Porch.